Give me Love
by Cyrano of Notre Dame
Summary: Named after the Ed Sheeran song. 1D slash AU. Harry has been dumped, abandoned by friends, and kicked out of his house, disowned by his parents. In his darkest moment Louis finds and rescues him. They both struggle to live, facing poverty and the complicated feelings they develop for each other. But how can someone who has been let down by everyone ever open up and trust again?
1. Chapter 1: Rock Bottom

Give me Love

Named after the wonderful Ed Sheeran song of the same name. I own nothing. One direction slash AU fanfiction with Larry Stylinson and other pairings further on, rated M for later chapters. And Sorry, this chapter is just a quick intro, the rest will be longer. Please let me know what you think by reviewing, the more specific the better. Thanks!

~xXx~

_Chaper 1:Rock Bottom _

This simply had to be rock bottom. He was sure of it. He'd thought he'd hit rock bottom before, but those times seemed happy compared to his current situation. Strange how the meaning of some words is lost on us until we experience them, phrases like "fell in love at first sight", "swept off your feet", and "hit rock bottom" are no mere catch calls, people have actually felt, and feel that way.

"And THIS is rock bottom."

, Harry Styles thought to himself, trudging through the snow, in no particular direction, on a frigid winter night in London. He talked to himself in his head, merely for the sake of having someone to talk to.

"I've been thrown out of my home, my family…"

Just thinking the word "family" made fresh tears well up in his cold eyes. He had to let out a dry quiet, "Ha!" tears, it seems, are inexhaustible. He thought he'd cried them all away hours ago.

"…my family doesn't want me or love me anymore."

He could still hear his father's booming, wrathful voice ringing in his ears, his mother weeping but doing nothing to stop it all. All because they'd found out he was gay. All because of the simple, unalterable fact that he fell in love with boys, not with girls. Who'd told them? Other kids from his university? Parents who'd somehow found out? It didn't matter. The bottom line was they could love their son, but not if he was gay, not if he was a homosexual. They'd confronted him and he'd denied nothing. He stood his ground and oh how brave and proud of himself he had felt in that moment! He felt that pride still, his parents might have thrown him out but at least he hadn't apologized for something that wasn't a fault. At least he hadn't apologized for himself.

He felt pride but he felt the cold and the loneliness more. He continued his thoughts.

"All of my friends have stopped talking to me, half of them when they found out, the other half when Sam told them what happened between us."

Sam. There, more tears. Where the hell do they all come from? Still, after weeks, just thinking the name of his former boyfriend was enough to bring him to sobs. How had it all gone so wrong? How can two people who like each other, who slept together and said things like, "I care about you." And "I like you quite a lot.", how can those people split up over some trifling thing? Turn into enemies even? Become filled with such animosity and sadness when there once was only joy and comfort? Why had he dumped him? Giving no other reason than that he wasn't "mature enough", and they were "looking for different things". How can that happen? Where did it all go wrong?

He didn't know. And it hurt to think about. All he wanted was to sleep, maybe forever; you can't feel pain when you're asleep. He walked on, his toes freezing, his breath an icy cloud above his head. It had started to snow, great heavy flakes falling from the night sky. Despite the bright lights of London all around him, it still felt and seemed dark.

He saw a bench. He'd walked into a park, a deserted park somewhere in London. He remembered there was a park somewhere around where he and Sam had first met, near a coffee shop. This wasn't that park though. He walked over to the bench and laid down on it's hard wooden surface, slightly wet with snow. The bench warmed slightly with his body heat but not much. He curled into a lopsided ball, his knees pulled up against his chest, and tried to sleep.

"You can't hurt when you're asleep. You can't hurt when you're asleep…" He repeated, over and over in his head. The tears still dripped from his closed eyes, they really are inexhaustible aren't they? He'd read somewhere that freezing in one's sleep was an extremely painless, almost beautiful death.

"That's what will happen to me." He thought, "I'll just fall asleep and never wake up, maybe the snow will cover me up." This thought seemed almost comforting.

"Harry?" Someone's voice above him startled him out of his reverie.

"Harry Styles?" The voice again, Harry couldn't see to whom it belonged, his eyes were clouded with tears still.

"It's me Harry; we were lab partners last semester, Louis Tomlinson? Remember?"

~xXx~

Please review, thank you.


	2. Chapter 2: Dry house, wet clothes

Give me Love 

"_Give a little time to me, or burn this out, we'll play hide and seek to turn this around, And all I want is the taste that your lips allow, my, my, my, my, oh give me love, …" _

Once again, please review. Also, I own nothing. Thank you!

~xXx~

_Chapter 2: Dry house, wet clothes _

Upon first entering the apartment, as Louis fumbled with the key stuck in the door, Harry noticed that it smelt like coffee, the strong black kind. This meaningless detail seemed strangely comforting for some reason.

"Sorry about the mess." Louis said, finally yanking the key from the lock on the door. "Not used to having company." He smiled a little, showing vey white teeth, and two small dimples.

"It's wonderful Louis," Harry reassured him, though he had seen noting of the actual room yet as the lights were turned off. "Thanks so much again for letting me stay here tonight. Really."

"Letting" wasn't quite the proper word. Louis had practically forced him to come home with him, out of the cold. Harry had resisted at first, saying he was fine, that it was barely chilly, and besides, aside from being lab partners for that one assignment in Introductory Bio the two boys didn't know each other at all. They'd seen each other around a few times but hardly ever actually talked. Louis won out of course, he was insistent, he couldn't just let someone, he'd said, "a friend" stay out in the cold like this.

"I always have some tea before I sleep, do you want some Harry?" Louis called from what Harry assumed was the kitchen, the apartment was still dark.

"Um sure, thanks." Harry answered, all of this seemed so strange, a guy he'd talked to probably twice in his life making him come back to his apartment? And this same guy being so sweet and kind, and for what reason? And then tea? He wasn't entirely sure; maybe he **had** fallen asleep on that bench back there.

Suddenly the lights came on.

Harry could see into the kitchen, no great feat since the apartment was so small. The tiny kitchen consisted of a miniature fridge, cupboards, a sink and a stove. The living room was a couch and a chair with a little TV, there was a bookshelf on one of the walls. Harry could see a closed door at the end of the small living room; he guessed it was the bedroom, or maybe a washroom. Harry stood like a statue, he was still processing all this, being thrown out, abandoned, freezing for hours outside, now being here with Louis. The brown haired boy was boiling water from a copper pot on the stove top. He then pulled out two miss matched mugs and poured the hot water into them.

"Is green alright with you?" Louis asked

"Um sure, thanks." Harry replied.

"Haha, is that all you can say 'um sure thanks'?" Louis asked, handing Harry a warm mug of tea. He noticed Louis kept the one with the handle broken off for himself. Harry laughed a little in spite of the sadness that still hadn't left him. There was just something about this kid, he just seemed so at ease, with someone he hardly knew, a stranger, in his house.

"We can drink in here." Louis led to the small couch and sat down. Harry still felt awful but he had to admit, being inside, drinking something warm and soothing, was quite an amazing feeling. He noticed Louis was looking at him, for the first time seeming nervous, or something close to it.

"Um Harry? I couldn't help but notice you've been crying…a lot it looks like. And after all I did find you on a park bench. Would you rather not talk about whatever it is? I don't have to know, but if you want to talk about it you can." Louis put a sympathetic hand on Harrys shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze.

"Thanks Louis, I'm sure I will want to eventually, just not tonight okay?" Harry felt a little bad, he at least owed him an explanation, but if he started talking about it all now he would totally loose it and break down in sobs again.

"Say no more, I understand totally." And just like that Louis seemed to stop being serious and went on a random ramble about how he's never liked Tuesdays. Was it Tuesday? Harry couldn't remember. Now he was talking about how when he was a kid brown has been his favorite colour because it was the colour of his dogs' eyes, and all the other kids thought he was crazy. Louis just kept talking; light hearted and aimless, like a kid rambling around a park. Now he was saying something about how when you think about it fast food restaurants just pop up, really have you ever seen one under construction? They just appear! Harry couldn't help but smile a little. He realized Louis was trying to cheer him up, or at least take his mind off things by talking a lot. It was a nice gesture and it was working a little.

Their tea finished, Louis collected the mugs and disappeared in to the kitchen. Harry, who was feeling warm and drowsy after the tea, closed his eyes and laid his head down on the couch.

"Sorry, you must be exhausted. Let's get you to bed." Louis had reentered the room. He grabbed Harrys hands, helping him off the sofa. Tired beyond belief, Harry let himself be lead to the bedroom. He stayed awake long enough to see a small bed and flop down on it. The second his head touched a warm, soft pillow, he was out like a light.

Louis couldn't help but smile, it was admittedly a little funny seeing someone so tired they fall asleep instantly. But whatever had happened to this guy was definitely not a laughing matter. He remembered seeing Harry in school, he'd always seemed so happy, so excited, and so, well…popular. How had he ended up with nowhere to stay but a park bench?

Louis continued looking at the sleeping boy, forgetting whatever it was he was supposed to be doing. He was still very cute, ah the enormous crush Louis had had way back when they were lab partners! He'd been so nervous being around this insanely attractive guy that he hardly remembered any of what their actual project they had worked on was about. Not that it mattered, Harry had had a girlfriend then and probably had one now. He was undoubtedly as straight as they come. Still, he was just so nice to look at. Curled up on the bed, still wearing his snow soaked coat, he was smiling a little in his sleep. He must be having a nice dream.

"Well that's probably best, rest up Harry." Louis said, he patted the sleeping boys head, slightly ruffling the thick chestnut curls that covered it.

~xXx~

Slowly, gradually, Harry woke up. He kept his eyes closed and wondered why the smell of eggs and coffee was so strong. His room wasn't even on the same floor as the kitchen, and his mom never made eggs. And then he remembered, he wasn't home because he didn't have one anymore. He was in Louis Tomlinson's apartment; in Louis Tomlinson's bed more precisely. He felt suddenly ashamed; this guy was being so nice to him. But why? It seemed everyone he came into contact with decided to leave him once they got to know more about him, his parents, Sam, all his friends. How long before Louis did the same? He should probably just leave as soon as he could, bad things seemed to follow him, he would only cause strife here too.

He got out of bed and realized his coat and jeans from last night, all of his wet clothes in fact were gone. He was wearing a white T shirt and a pair of black, wooly pajama bottoms. Louis's he guessed. His clothes were lying on a dresser; they'd been dried and folded. Had he taken his clothes off? He couldn't remember. He pulled the white shirt over his head and started changing into his old clothes when Louis opened the door balancing the same two mugs from last night and two plates.

"Hey Harry, didn't know how you liked you eggs so I just-" Louis stopped when he saw Harry. The curly haired boys was in the process of changing, wearing nothing but boxers.

"Sorry Harry, really I didn't think-" Louis blushed and stared at the floor.

Harry couldn't stop from laughing, the first time he'd genuinely laughed in quite a while.

"It's fine Louis." He reassured him, and continued changing. "Besides, I think it's nothing you haven't already seen, I mean last night I wasn't wearing those." He pointed to the clothes he'd woken up in.

"Oh um, yeah, well you just fell asleep and your clothes were still soaking wet , and I read that you can get hypothermia that way, and I had those clothes lying around, and…" He stopped his rambling and looked at the floor again, blushing furiously.

"…and it was dark so I didn't , you know, I mean I wouldn't ever-, I mean not that you're ugly or anything but-sorry"

"Haha, Louis calm down. You're fine." Harry smiled; he pulled up his jeans and went over to Louis, putting a hand on his shoulder. Louis still starred at the floor.

"Really, thank you, you've been way too nice to me Louis." He gave Louis's shoulder a soft squeeze. "So what have you got there?" Harry asked.

"Oh yeah, um breakfast, all I had was eggs, oh and coffee." Louis sat the plates and cups down on the dresser, pulling out two forks from his pockets. "And um…your shirt." Louis said, handing Harry his black button up shirt, he continued to stare at the floor as Harry put it on.

"Thanks Lou." Harry said taking a plate and sitting on the bed.

"So I was thinking…" Harry started, slowly, "…You've been so very nice to me, and the very least I owe you is an explanation."

"Harry, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it." Louis said.

"No, you should know." Harry took a deep breath, "Here it goes."

"Well it started I guess when Sam broke up with me." Harry said.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea your girlfriend left you. Must be awful." Louis said, full of sympathy.

"Sam was my boyfriend actually." Harry said, smiling slightly.

"You? You're?...You?" Louis asked stunned, eyes wide.

"Yes, I'm gay, which is also why my parents threw me out a few days ago. I was staying with friends but they all either stopped talking to me once they found out or else they were Sam's friends and won't talk to me since he dumped me." Harry looked at Louis, watching for his reaction. When he'd told his other friends they'd all given him this strange look and stopped talking to him altogether. The world was becoming more accepting but it wasn't quite there yet. He waited. No reaction.

"Lou?" Harry asked. Louis didn't look up at him, his face was turned the other direction, he didn't move.

"Sorry Louis, thanks again for the place to stay, I'll go now." Harry said, dejected, just like the others. Why had he thought Louis should be any different? No one wanted a faggot like him hanging around. He started to rise, ready to leave.

Before he could Louis was standing next to him, and next thing knew had his arms wrapped around him, like he meant to squeeze the life out of him.

"I'm so sorry Harry, so, so sorry. No one deserves that." Louis said, still hugging Harry close. After a few bewildered seconds Harry returned the embrace.

"Thanks Lou, thanks."

Damn! Harry thought to himself, tears!? Again? Where do they all come from? But these were happy tears, something totally new to Harry. And then he realized why, this was the first kindness he'd been shown in a long, long time.

"Thank you Louis." Harry said, hugging Louis closer.

~xXx~


	3. Chapter 3:

Give me Love

_Chapter 3: "+" _

_In which, Louis gets in touch with his inner bad-ass and numerous hugs are given and received__. _

~xXx~

It had been three weeks and Harry still couldn't believe it, how much better things had gotten. And all thanks to Louis. Harry hadn't stopped thanking Louis, either out loud or in his head, since that first morning in Lou's apartment. Louis had really given him his life back. No scratch that, given him a new one really. The thought brought a smile to Harry's lips, and he automatically mouthed "Thank you Louis." Without even thinking of it. He walked home, his new home, the apartment he and Louis shared.

It was still winter in London, and light, fresh snow was tumbling down from the grey, woolen sky. Harry smiled toward the heavens, no longer fearing the cold or the flurries. Since that first night when Louis had found him in the park, Louis had helped Harry back on his feet. He had started by letting him stay in his tiny apartment and sharing his food and even clothes with the other boy. This in itself was a godsend, but his next miracle was getting Harry a job as a dish boy in the restaurant Louis also worked in as a waiter. He still didn't quite know quite how Louis had done it, but he had somehow been able to put Harry to work only one day after he had fallen asleep in the apartment. Harry then insisted on paying half the rent and sharing the food bill, he also had bought Louis several small little gifts here and there just to remind him how thankful he was. In fact he had one now, tucked under his arm. He'd bought Louis a brand new CD, he'd never heard of the artist himself but he had heard Louis singing softly to himself around the apartment, while cooking, cleaning, taking a shower, etc. And after some research he'd found the CD the songs were from, a CD that was now wrapped in newspaper under Harrys arm.

Harry bounded up the steps to their apartment, smiling still, thinking about how Louis would enjoy this present.

"Hey Lou, got off work a little late, they asked me to stay over." He called, when he got inside. He took his coat off and hung it on the wall. He then hid the Newspaper packet behind his back and walked into the kitchen.

"Okay, oh and is spaghetti fine for dinner? I didn't have time to run out and all we have left is pasta." Louis was boiling water in the kitchen, humming to himself. It was one of the songs he usually sang to himself when he thought Harry wasn't listening. One of the songs on the CD Harry currently held behind his back.

"Yeah I love spaghetti." Harry answered. "Oh and by the way, I found this lying around." Harry smiled, handing Louis the present.

"Harry! You didn't need to do that. Thanks!" Louis began tearing the newspaper.

"I know, I just really wanted to show you how much I appreciate…well everything." He answered.

"And the coat, two books, new cooking pot, and blanket didn't show that?" Louis asked, smiling slyly. "Really Harry, you've done enough."

"I couldn't ever do enough Louis." Harry replied.

All the newspaper was torn off and Louis's eyes grew to an absurd size as he looked at the orange CD case he was holding. It was an album by an artist named Ed Sheeran, simply titled "+".

"Harry! How did you know I love Ed Sheeran?" Louis asked his voice high with excitement.

Harry laughed, "How could I not?" He asked, "You're constantly signing songs around the flat, songs on that CD."

Louis flushed a deep, almost violet shade of crimson. "You've heard me singing?" He asked, voice nervous.

"Yes, and you're actually quite good too." Harry said, chuckling. "And one song in particular, I think it's…Ah, there." Harry said, pointing to a song title on the CD case. It was number twelve, called "Give me love"

"Oh yes, I love that song, it's probably my favorite of his." Louis said fondly. "Really, thanks Harry, it's a wonderful present."

Louis walked over and pulled Harry into a hug. Such hugs were a pretty usual thing from Louis; he sometimes got tripped up on words so he tended to be more physical, it was simpler, easier, and no less meaningful. But he usually broke them off after a few moments, this time he didn't stop when he usually would have.

"You're welcome Lou…" Harry said laughing slightly, returning the lingering hug. "I just really appreciate everything you've done for me."

Louis finally broke the hug and grinned, "Think nothing of it; it's nice having a roommate."

Harry noticed something different about Louis's face, specifically his left eye. "Lou, you've a bruise, and a cut, did you get into a fight or something?" He said, lightly holding Louis's chin, turning the wounded side of his face to the light.

"Yeah there was this really nasty old lady I was waiting on at the restaurant, just had to let her have it you know?" Louis said, laughing, though Harry could see he had a pretty deep purple bruise around his eye and a few thin cuts on his cheek. "Nah Harry, I just slipped on a patch of ice while running home, I'm fine."

"Well okay, if you're sure." Harry said, not entirely convinced. "Can I help you with dinner?"

"Sure, if you want." Lou replied, "Oh and as it just so happens, I have a gift for you too." He said, beaming.

"Louis you didn't need to do that, you've already done so, so much." Harry protested.

"Don't worry; it didn't cost me a cent. C'mon 'll show you." Louis said, walking to the bedroom. He reached the door and turned to Harry, "Now you have to close your eyes, okay? No cheating!"

Harry covered his eyes, "Okay, I promise, though really you didn't need to do-"

Louis put a hand over his mouth, "Enough of that; now come on." Louis's hands led Harry into the room; he heard the door shut behind them. "Okay…now, open!" Harry blinked his eyes open.

On the bed they both shared there were several cardboard boxes. It took him a while to process what exactly he was seeing. At first glance they appeared to be filled with a random assortment of junk, books, clothes, a few shoes, and some CD's. But then upon looking a little longer, Harry realized it WAS an assortment of junk.

"Well, what do you think?" Louis asked, smiling, waiting, expecting.

"Um, well I don't know what to think really. And how did all of this not cost you anything?" Harry answered, confused.

Louis laughed slightly, "Look a little closer Harry, does any of it look familiar?"

Harry looked a little longer and finally saw what Louis was getting at.

He gasped, jumped backwards a little, and stifled a yell, all at the same time; which, needless to say, was hilarious to see. Louis made absolutely no attempt to hide his laughter.

"Calm down Harry, you're going to give yourself a heart attack."

"But Louis, you, how did you-, where- how!?" Harry asked, pointing to the boxes on the bed.

It was an assortment of junk, HIS junk, from his old house. It was all here, favorite clothes, his blanket from his bed, shoes, old personal items, things he had thought he'd lost forever when his parents threw him out. He couldn't believe it, it was like finding something you'd lost long ago and despaired of ever seeing again. Each piece of junk here held a precious memory for Harry, his favorite jacket that always kept him warm no matter how cold it was, his favorite pair of jeans, old worn out things yet he loved them, the books his aunt had given him for Christmas before she had died of leukemia; it was like having old friends come back from a long trip.

He felt those damn tears coming on again, but this time he didn't mind as much. Without a word he walked over to Louis and buried his crying face in Louis's shoulder, wrapping his arms tight around the other boys' waist.

"Thanks so much Lou, you're just…the most amazing guy I've ever met, and I owe you everything." Harry said after quite a few moments of silence. Louis didn't say anything; he just placed his hand on Harry's dark, curly hair and held it there, the other wrapped around Harry's shoulders.

"But Lou, how did you get this stuff?" Harry asked, after a few minutes.

"Oh, well, you know I just sorta found your address in the phone book and went by and picked it up while you were at work." Louis said, looking down at his shoes, blushing slightly.

"Louis." Harry said, suddenly rather stern and serious. "I can tell you're lying, really, how did you get these?"

"Well, I was technically telling the truth, …" Louis started, "I did find your address in the phone book and I went to go get some of your stuff, I figured it might cheer you up you know? Well when I got there, here's what happened…"

Louis was nervous as hell when he knocked on the door of Harry's former house. From what Harry had told him his parents were not too friendly toward gays, I mean they kicked their own child out on the street for Christ's sake! But still maybe if he just explained himself they might be more understanding. He tried to slow his breathing down, this had to be done. He knocked again. A middle aged woman's face peeped out from behind the door.

"Hello, can I help you?" She asked, she was a lady of about forty with brown hair turning grey and quite a few wrinkles already. She looked sad and tired, though there was some kindness under it all.

"Hello. Well I don't quite know how to say this but…I'll just say it. I'm Harry's, your sons, friend, Louis, and I was wondering if I could come pick up a few of his things. I mean they are still his and if you aren't using them, I'm sure he'd love to have some of his old stuff back."

"Ellen, who's that at the door?" A deep voice answered form inside the flat.

"No one John, just the paper man," Harry's mom, Ellen, yelled back into the dark house. "I really think you should go now young man, we don't know about anyone with that name here."

Louis was momentarily surprised enough to just turn around and leave. But something stopped him. It was anger.

"How can you say that? You're his mother, I've heard him talk about you, this is the right address, and gay or not Harry is still your son!" Louis wasn't used to his voice being this loud, he hardly realized how mad he was until he had spoken. Now Ellen's face became cold and bitter.

"Now I'm quite sure you're mistaken young man, we don't approve of homosexuals and the idea that one would live here is insulting. Off with you now." She stared closing the door, Louis's foot stopped it.

"If you want to deny your son's gay, then that's your issue, but he is still alive and it's winter, he's cold and I'm sure an old coat would make a huge difference. Have some compassion." Louis's voice was firm and his eyes wide with anger.

"Ellen, hasn't the postman gone yet?" John, Harry's father came to the door. "Who are you?" The overweight, balding man in suspenders asked.

"I'm Louis, one of Harry's friends; the one who took him in after you abandoned him. I'm here to get a few old clothes and things of his." Louis said, glaring.

Harry's father fumed, his face grew red and his small eyes narrowed into even tinnier slits, "Now listen here you little poof, I don't have a gay son, and if I did, I'd be glad he's freezing his sorry, sinful ass off in the winter. Now get out before I call the police or deal with you myself."

"I'm not leaving without Harry's stuff." Louis retuned Johns stare and didn't budge an inch.

"I warned you, you little faggot!" John's pale, meaty fist swung at Louis and caught his left eye. Louis fell to the ground and didn't move.

"John maybe you shouldn't have done that, what if he has relations who press charges?" But before John could answer Louis was on his feet and pushing past the two of them into the house. By the time they realized he was inside he had already cleared the stairs.

"Fucking hell! I'll kill you, you bastard!" John shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

By an amazing stroke of luck Louis had found Harry's room almost instantly. He locked the door and propped a solid looking chair under it and quickly began stuffing things into a trash bag he'd brought for the purpose.

"Open this door you faggot!" John banged on the door but it didn't budge, "Ellen, don't just stand there call the cops, report a robbery!"

John continued to bang and shout obscene names as Louis rushed around the room pilling clothes and shoes and books into the bag. He filled it as much as he could and then tossed it with as much grace as he could manage, out of the window. He threw a leg over the windowsill about to jump down himself when he suddenly stopped and ran to the door. He started turning the knob as if he were about to open it, this got Harry's father to stop shouting for a moment.

"You're a despicable, cruel, hateful bastard, and your wife is no better. How could you abandon your son, your family, over something as harmless as who he falls in love with? You both make me sick and I pity you, Harry deserved so, so much better." Harry's dad heard every word, he started banging on the door with renewed vigor, it even began to splinter. By the time Louis was climbing out the window he'd broken through. Only to find an empty room, some disheveled clothes and an open window.

Louis finished his story and continued starring at the floor.

"God Louis, that was so stupid!" Harry exclaimed, "And so amazing." He finished, hugging Louis again.

Louis looked worried in a strange way.

"What is it Lou?" Harry asked, puzzled and concerned.

"Harry I… I mean-, you, we-…" Louis stuttered himself into silence.

"Louis, what is it? You can tell me."

Louis didn't say anything; he just leaned in and kissed the other boy. After a few moments he pulled back, watching Harry's face, waiting for a reaction.

~xXx~


	4. Chapter 4: Taste that your lips allow

Give me Love 

_Chapter 4: "The Taste that Your Lips Allow"_

_In which Louis is a heavy sleeper and a perfectly good glass bottle is needlessly smashed_

~xXx~

Harry hesitated for a moment, and then another and then another. He was dumbstruck, had that just happened? Had Louis just kissed him? The answer of course was hell yes but he still couldn't believe it, even though Louis's face was still only a few inches from his. He stopped thinking about it, about what had just happened, about how much he had wanted it to happen, about how unbelievable it all was, and just went with his instincts. He kissed Louis back.

Harry grinned slightly, Louis tasted like coffee and oranges, an intoxicating, if slightly bizarre, smell. Heads tilted, the two brown haired boys kissed, without pause without restraint. Louis put his hand on the backside of Harry's head and wrapped the boy's curly locks around his fingers, gradually holding on tighter and tighter as their kissing became more and more intense. They fell down on the bed together and shoved all the junk in their way unceremoniously onto the floor.

This was so different from anything Harry had done with Sam. It was hard to explain, but with Sam it had been more controlled, far less passionate. Whenever he'd had sex with Sam it had been good of course, but each time was like the last and it was always predictable; Harry would have to initiate by kissing Sam's neck or something and then they would start making out, in the end Sam would end up fucking him and then fall asleep almost as soon as it was over. It had always been nice, just very routine though.

But Louis was very, very different, the sweet, caring boy Harry knew turned into some kind of a crazy animal in bed. Louis kissed his neck and ears, nibbling here and there leaving small marks. He tore Harry's shirt off and only stopped biting and kissing his neck long enough for Harry to do the same to him. Louis was all over him, a frenzied, starved, thrusting beast. It was all rather amazing.

Harry flipped Louis over and got on top of him for a change, the other boy grinned at the competitive edge that gleamed in Harry's eyes. It was almost like a fight of some kind, it was stupid but Harry remembered seeing two wolves fight each other on some nature documentary once and this reminded him of that, those two beautiful, deadly beasts rolling around in the snow. He kissed Louis's neck and worked his way down to the shoulder and collar bone, leaving small shinning patches on Louis's tan, smooth skin. He nibbled on his ear, driving him crazy, and then circled the area with his tongue, Louis was digging his nails into Harry's back.

"Ahhh!" Harry exclaimed at the sensation of Louis's scratches.

"Did I hurt you Harry?" Louis asked, suddenly himself again, full of concern, the animal lust melted from his eyes.

"No, I love it Lou." Harry smirked and covered Louis's now smiling lips with his own.

"God Harry, you're so beautiful." Louis said, caressing the curly haired boy's cheek with his hand.

Harry just smirked. And after what seemed like hours, after what was certainly the best sex Harry had ever had up to that point in his young life, they both fell, exhausted and sweaty, into a deep sleep.

Harry was having a dream, in it his parents were yelling at him in the living room of their flat. It was strange, they were very angry and their yelling was totally in gibberish, he couldn't make out the words but he somehow knew they were mad at him for being gay, for not being normal and for bringing shame to their family. Harry was crying and asking them to stop shouting at him but they wouldn't stop, and he couldn't move, he was rooted in place on the couch, sobbing. Then Sam came into the room from the kitchen, the parents took no notice of him and he started yelling at Harry too, the same livid jumble of meaningless sounds but he could tell that Sam was shouting at him for being a stupid little kid and not being mature enough. Harry tried to reason with them and defend himself but his voice couldn't rise above their roar. Suddenly their voices became intelligible. They were speaking English now, but they were each just repeating one phrase.

"You're ruining my family you little faggot!" His father boomed, pointing a huge, wrinkly finger at him.

"How can you do this to us? How can you be this shellfish!?" His mother screamed, near hysterics.

"I am sick of all your childish drama, you are behaving like a fucking child and you need to grow up!" Sam yelled, somehow his hurt the worst. He remembered all the nice, flirty things Sam used to say to him, and now it had come to this. All of these things had actually been said by these people who were supposed to love him, or at least not hate him. They each kept saying their line, all loud, all at the same time, yet somehow Harry was able to hear each one when they said it.

When he woke up he found that he was crying, and had been for some time in his sleep.

Harry sat up in bed and ran his fingers through his hair. It had all seemed so real, and he was still shaken and saddened by it. He tried very hard not to dwell on these things, but maybe they would always be there in the back of his mind, waiting. Sam had been his first boyfriend, his only relationship, he had liked him for a time and then inexplicably changed his mind, saying Harry was too immature, constantly saying he was "acting like a child". What had he done? All he ever did was like Sam and try his best to be a good boyfriend for him. And his parents, the people who were supposed to love him no matter what, had kicked him out of their lives once they learned who he really was. The darkest of thoughts seeped into Harrys mind. Would everyone he loved leave him? Was there something toxic, something unlovable about him? He sat for several moments; perfectly calm on the outside, but inside he was a ragging hurricane of indecision. Finally he got up, he had made the awful choice, but it needed to be made one way or another.

As quietly as he could manage he got dressed and threw a few pairs of clothes into his backpack. He took out his stash of money hidden in the top drawer of the dresser and counted out this month's rent and put it where Louis would see it. He stopped and looked down at Louis; blankets wrapped around his slender waist, his amazing, smooth chest naked and open to the nights chill. Harry gently lifted the comforter up to Louis's chin and tucked it there. The boy had chestnut coloured hair flopped over one of his sleeping eyes. Harry carefully lifted it onto his forehead, and leaned in for a quick peck on the sleeping boys cheek. He looked so perfect there, smiling slightly in his sleep.

"I'm sorry, Lou, I really am, but believe me, in the end it's better this way; better for you anyway." Harry whispered. Then he walked out of the room and shut the door noiselessly behind him.

~xXx~

If anyone had seen the boy with the mop-like hair and sad face walking on the London streets that night, they would have seen a perfect representation of human sadness and misery. His eyes were red and swollen from crying, and his cheeks were wet and freezing from the tears. It was about two in the morning on that freezing winter night, and the boy was shivering without seeming to notice or care. In his mind he was trying to convince himself he'd done the right thing.

"I mean sure maybe my parents are just homophobic assholes, but I can't just explain away everyone like that. I mean Sam? All of Sam's friends, who were my friends too? Everywhere I go I fuck people's lives up somehow. I mean maybe there are certain people who are just…toxic, and they should quarantine themselves so they don't hurt anyone else. That's what a good person would do right?"

And on and on his thoughts ran, all in a vein similar to this. He never meant to, but he always seemed to cause misery wherever he went, his parents had seemed pretty miserable, and so did Sam, who's to say this would be any different? He was doing this for Louis's own good, the guy was being way too nice to him and it was only a matter of time before he did something to fuck up their relationship too. It would hurt him, Harry knew that, it would hurt the boy to wake up and find Harry gone, but better to be hurt now rather than when he was more attached; he would heal from this pain much faster.

"I'm sorry Lou, so, so sorry, but this really is for the best. You've no idea how fucked up I am." Harry said, hardly realizing he'd spoken aloud. He felt a searing pain on the top of his head and what seemed like a long second later, heard broken glass fall cracking onto the pavement of the street. He was on the ground before he knew it and everything was black. The last thing he remembered was Louis's sweetly sleeping face, then everything was a blur and he fell out of consciousness.

~xXx~


	5. Chapter 5: Waking up Alone

**Give me Love**

_Chapter 5: "Lately I've been waking up alone" _

_In which; Harry encounters an angry, nurse-leprechaun, Zayn calms said leprechaun, and Louis is reunited with Harry_

~xXx~

The first thing Harry remembered actually seeing, (although it must have been some kind of dream), was Louis looking down at him, they were in some warm room and sun was pouring through a window. Louis looked worried and his big blue eyes were on the verge of tears. Harry thought he remembered saying "Sorry" to the dream Louis but he couldn't be sure. After that it was all fuzzy, it seemed to him that he was having several similar dreams followed by periods of dark unconsciousness, all of them were in that sunlit room and most of them involved Louis. After what seemed like a very long time had passed, Harry finally woke up.

He was indeed in a warm room, and there was the sunlight, filtered through the window, just like the dream, or maybe it had all been real? He didn't bother to think about it yet, all he knew was there was a pain in his head but other than that he felt fine, if a little disoriented. He was coherent enough to make out that he had somehow been taken back to the apartment he and Louis had shared, he was in the bed they'd made love in, but Louis was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly a young looking blonde kid rushed into the room. He noticed Harry for a moment and then seemed to forget or disregard him entirely. He walked about the small room like a gust of wind, picking up trash here and there, straightening this and that, and looking over a first aid kit that lay open on the dresser. He took no further notice of Harry.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked, confused and more than a little curious.

"Excuse you? You're excused then, go on, out with ya." The blonde haired boy said, without turning his back to look at Harry when he spoke to him. He spoke with a very thick Irish accent. The boy continued to rummage through the first aid kit.

"Who are you?" Harry asked, determined to get a satisfactory response.

"'Who am I?', he asks! Jesus Mary and Joseph!" The blonde kid exclaimed, finally turning to face Harry. He stared at Harry with wide, vibrant blue eyes, full of energy, and at this moment it looked like anger as well, or at least mild annoyance.

"Just the chap who probably saved your sorry skin," He answered "And don't ask me why, I hardly know myself." He went back to rooting through the first aid kit, which looked, at least from Harry's vantage point to be fairly large for any ordinary household kit. "Up to me, we would've left ya there in the cold, saved a load of trouble and hardship if you ask me."

"So you brought me back here? Thanks I suppose." Harry said, rubbing his eyes, trying to process it all.

"Thank me arse!" The blond boy spun around again, "Have you any notion all the pain you caused when you took it in your daft head to run away like that? Have you any notion at all? Said so myself, should've left you in the street so!"

"Niall, it's not good bedside manner to yell at your patients." A calm cool voice said from the door. A tall dark boy with long eye lashes and shiny black hair stood there.

"Glad to see you awake Harry, you gave us quite a scare. You were out of it for days." The boy said, and walked over to the blonde kid he had called Niall. "And you need to calm down." He put his hands on the boy's shoulders in a reassuring way.

"Aye, I know Zayn, but you know how I feel about it all!" Niall said.

"If you need a break I can watch him, if you're too tired, or…?" Zayn offered.

"I'm fine! Just gets on the nerves so he does." Niall's voice deteriorated into mumbling as he went back to his kit, he appeared to be looking for something specific.

"You'll have to excuse Nialler," Zayn said, walking over and sitting on the bed next to Harry, "he really can be quite sweet, just takes a while for him to warm up to new people is all." The handsome boy with the raven hair grinned, there was something clam and almost musical about his voice, he seemed so cool and collected; basically the exact opposite of Niall, who seemed to hate Harry for some reason.

"How are you feeling?" Zayn's round, dark eyes were fixed on Harry.

"Fine actually, a little fuzzy and my head hurts some, but fine."

"I should say it does, you had a glass beer bottle smashed over it, and then you were robbed. Louis found you and we carried you back here." Zayn explained.

"And a bloody hard time we had of it too, you're no light thing you know!" Niall said from across the room. Zayn sighed, got up from the bed and walked over to Niall.

"What's wrong my angry little leprechaun?" Zayn whispered in Niall's ear, hugging him from behind and resting his head on Niall's shoulder.

"Just upset about what he put Louis through is all," Niall answered, much more softly this time, "And you know how I feel about calling me "your leprechaun" in front of strangers." He added, trying to sounds somewhat severe.

Zayn just laughed quietly, "You know you love it," he gave Niall a quick peck on the cheek, "Just try to tone it down for a little while longer? He is still recovering."

"Fine, I'll be gentle on the no good, deserting, son of a-"

"Niall." Zayn said, slightly stern, looking into his eyes.

"Patient. I'll be gentle on the patient, I was going to say." Niall said, "Now he needs to take these twice daily for four or five days or until the pain stops." Niall held up a small bottle with red pills in it. " And we'll be needing to get those stiches out soon, if not today."

"Much better, doctor Horan." Zayn smiled and pecked Niall on the lips this time.

"Still a nurse as of yet, give me a few more years though." Niall smiled and seemed genuinely good humored for the first time since he'd entered the room.

Harry just starred, still feeling slightly groggy and more than a little bit confused. His gawking didn't go unnoticed for long however.

"Oi! And what is it you're gawking at glass for brains!?" Naill said, noticing Harry's stare. "Haven't you ever seen a kiss before?"

"Yeah, um well…I.." Harry stuttered, embarrassed and blushing. He still wasn't used to seeing two boys kiss, and the combination of Niall's hot headedness and Zayn's remarkable reserve was kind of shocking.

"Nialler," Zayn said, still hugging Niall's waist, looking at him with that sweet look of patience that never seemed to leave his face. "Harry just came out not too long ago, the whole guys kissing thing is still rather new to him."

Niall glared over at Harry, still annoyed apparently. "I know, but he could at least not stare like a bloody idiot!"

Zayn pulled Naill's face toward his, cutting off the venomous look he was still giving Harry, and kissed him again.

"He's probably just jealous of my insanely hot Irish boyfriend." Zayn smirked, "Now you go out and take a nap on the couch, you've been on your feet all day, I can watch over our patient."

"Okay fine, should we tell Lou though?" Niall asked

"Lou's been almost as busy as you've been and we just managed to get him to rest a little bit, let's let him sleep a while longer, eh?" Zayn said, in that calm, melodious voice of his.

"Okay, see you in a bit Zayn." Niall smiled and started to leave, "And you!" He turned and rushed across the room to Harry, "Take these, and no excuses." He pushed a bottle of red pills into Harry's hand and left the room.

Zayn walked over and sat down next to Harry, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I know he can seem rough around the edges but he's really very sweet." Zayn offered by way of apology for Niall's abrupt behavior. "He's just a little upset about what happened with you and Louis."

At the mention of Louis's name Harry sat up, alert and worried.

"How is Louis? Where is he?" Harry asked, sounding panicked.

"Louis is sleeping on a cot in the other room, we had to practically drag him away from you, he's spent almost all of his time watching over you since we brought you back." Zayn said.

"Good, I was worried he might be hurt or something."

"Well he was pretty upset you tried to leave like that, no goodbye or anything. We spent half the night looking for you. And I've never seen him so distraught when we found you, you were unconscious and laying in the snow, we thought you might be…you know." Zayn said, looking at Harry.

"I know, I know, but it was for the best, or at least I thought so…" Harry trailed off, "I don't know anymore, I'm just so fucked up." Harry rubbed his eyes and ran his finger through his hair.

"Everyone's fucked up Harry, but that's no reason to run away from the people who love you." Zayn said.

"Did he say that?" Harry asked, shocked, "Louis? Love?"

Zayn nodded solemnly, "I've known Louis for a very long time and I've never seen him act this way toward someone, you must be something damn special." Zayn couldn't help but smile a little.

"But everyone around me seems to decide I'm not good enough, my parents, my friends, Sam. And what if they're right? What if I'm not?"

"Harry," Zayn put both hands on Harry's shoulders and looked at him dead center "I don't know about your past, but I do know that Louis loves you. For whatever reason, he really does, and I am pretty sure you feel the same way."

Harry blushed and stared holes into the sheets, "I do actually, but what if I can't live up to what he expects of me? What if I let him down?"

"You're thinking way too much about this, Louis loves you, you love Louis, and if you're worried about letting him down, well then the surest way to do that is to run away like you did. Just try your best." Zayn said his tone and words reassuring.

"I think you're right," Harry said, putting a hand on Zayn's shoulder, "thanks a lot."

"Don't mention it," Zayn said, smiling, "I care a lot about Louis and if he likes you, then that's good enough for me."

Harry smiled back and was about to start another conversation when Zayn got up to leave.

"Now if you will excuse me, I need to go cuddle with my leprechaun." Zayn smirked and left the room.

Harry flopped back down on the bed feeling content and relatively happy, he started reading the label on the pills he was supposed to take when he heard someone open the door. He looked up and Louis was there.

"Harry! You're awake!" Louis said.

~xXx~


End file.
